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Dating is Not a Game, but It is a ‘Numbers Game’

May 22, 20233 min read

Imagine if dates were conveniently delivered to our doorsteps, just like Amazon packages. Picture this: you’re sitting comfortably, engrossed in a TV show, when suddenly there’s a knock on the door. You open it, and there she stands—gorgeous, with a captivating smile, and just the right height. “Hi, I’m your date,” she says with a delightful voice. Wouldn’t that be a sweet surprise?

However, let’s face the reality. Such scenarios usually exist only in movies or as wishful thinking. Despite the numerous conveniences we enjoy in our lives—streaming movies, doorstep deliveries of packages and groceries, ready-to-eat meals, and on-demand rides with Uber—we find ourselves more disconnected and lonelier than ever before. We may swipe and match on dating apps, but we often struggle to translate those virtual connections into real-life relationships. We dedicate effort and time to our professional careers, but we tend to neglect investing in our love lives with the same determination. Perhaps, we believe that love is a matter of luck or fate, leading us to passively wait, make excuses, or shift blame onto external factors, all while yearning for love.

Yes, some people do get lucky in love. But ask yourself, would you really want to leave something as crucial and desired as a love connection entirely up to fate? Ponder on it for a moment. When it comes to securing a good job, you actively search, apply, and attend interviews, putting in effort and exploring various opportunities. So why should we hold onto the notion of waiting and expecting love to magically appear on its own?

You should not wait! If you truly desire control over your life, it’s time to step out of your comfort zone and take action. To motivate you, let me explain why finding love can be likened to a “numbers game.” Although I never mean to trivialize the concept of dating by calling it a game, it is indeed a process that involves exploring multiple opportunities and utilizing all available resources. To increase your chances of “getting lucky in love,” you must actively put yourself on the path to encountering that luck.

Step #1: Get on multiple dating apps. While Hinge is popular in the United States, joining platforms like Tinder, eHarmony, and Bumble will expose you to a broader range of potential matches. By creating a compelling profile, sending unique opening messages that make you stand out from the crowd, and effectively filtering your preferences, you can optimize your experience on online dating apps.

Step #2: Let your social life serve your love life. Research activities in your local area that predominantly attract women. This may involve joining yoga or dance classes, hitting the gym and attending group fitness sessions like Zumba, participating in Wine and Paint events where women often gather, or even attending dating events. You might be thinking, “I can’t do that!” Well, it’s a choice between stepping out of your comfort zone, where you spend most of your time alone, or making changes to your social life to actively put yourself in front of as many women as possible. The more opportunities you create, the higher the chance of meeting someone special. This is where the numbers come into play.

Step #3: Join Meetup platform groups catering to singles in your preferred age group and start attending their events. By expanding your social circles and actively participating in socializing activities, you increase the likelihood of finding a potential partner.

Dating is a crucial phase preceding the formation of a relationship, but that lady won’t magically appear at your door while you’re at home binge-watching Netflix. You need to venture out into the world and make things happen. So, seize control of your love life and embrace the opportunities that await beyond the confines of your comfort zone.

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Irena Polyakova

Irena, a passionate Life and Relationship Coach on a mission to transform the statistics on loneliness. With a deep-rooted desire to help people find love within themselves and in a healthy relationship, she draws upon her own experiences and a wealth of knowledge acquired through rigorous academic and life education.

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